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| Hoosier United Methodists together |
October 2006 |
Healing came in the midst of the faith community
By Cyndi Alte
Letting family and friends know of my diagnosis was relatively easy. Telling the church was far more difficult. |
My journey with cancer began with a phone call while I was visiting my daughter at college. "There is a shadow on your mammogram and we need to repeat it."
Truthfully, I did not think much about it, even when I went back for another screening. Only after the doctor explained the results of the second mammogram that I thought there might be reason to be concerned: "We've scheduled you for a biopsy in two days." Within a week, I was one of 180,000 women diagnosed with breast cancer in 1999.
It was early cancer; I felt lucky. I have been cancer-free for seven years; I still feel lucky. While luck does play some role in my diagnosis and recovery, there were other things far more significant than luck that kept me going then and keeps me alive and healthy today.
Family, of course. My husband never wavered in his love and support. Our children grew up in a day and parented me when I was flat on my back, both literally and figuratively. Friends seemed to sense when I needed them with me and when I needed space on my own. Clergy colleagues were sensitive and caring; one came to my office upon hearing the diagnosis with the words, "I thought if I could be here, it might make a difference." It did.
Letting family and friends know of my diagnosis was relatively easy. Telling the church was far more difficult. I worried about many things:
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How would the congregation react to their pastor being ill?
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Would the Cabinet identify me as a sickly minister?
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Could the congregation and Cabinet understand that I would need space and time for emotional and spiritual, as well as physical healing?
Those questions and more added to the vulnerability of having breast cancer in the public setting of the pulpit. Like many who receive a life-threatening diagnosis, my initial reaction was to keep it as private as possible. I naively thought I could deal with the physical, emotional and spiritual aspects of breast cancer without the Roberts Park United Methodist (Indianapolis) congregation being a part of my healing. I could not have been more wrong.
Healing came in the midst of the community of faith. My colleagues the Rev. Mary Cartwright and Dr. Charles Ballard, developed a plan that was sensitive to the congregation, to my family and to me. Then they led the church through Advent, Christmastide and Epiphany in my absence. With their help, I was able to concentrate on recovery with confidence that the church was cared for in the best way possible. I will be forever grateful for their ministry to Roberts Park and to my family.
The congregation was no less supportive. They provided us with food three times a week for two months. Church members wrote a daily devotional that my husband and I poured over again and again. There were notes and cards every day in the mail.
Those were some of the tangible things that helped us cope. It was the intangible things that helped me survive. When I was afraid and felt helpless, the church listened and allowed my feelings. When my body and spirit hurt too much to pray, the church understood and still prayed for and with me. When I thought I was alone, the church was with me.
That kind of love and compassion is not luck. It is the body of Christ at its best.
October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month. My mammogram is already scheduled. I keep that appointment with a mixture of apprehension and confidence. Because it happened once, my family is closer, my faith is stronger and my understanding of church is fuller.
There will be a day when breast cancer is eradicated. Until that time, be certain you and those you love get mammograms (yearly after the age of 40, earlier if you have a family history) and practice monthly self-exams (after the age of 21).
I do and am alive because of it - and the grace and love of the community of faith.
For more information about breast cancer, log on to www.cancer.org and click on in the left column "Making Strides Against Breast Cancer."
Cyndi Alte serves as director of congregational health ministries at Clarian Health Partners based at United Methodist-related Methodist Hospital in Indianapolis.
Last updated on 25 Apr 2008