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Hoosier United Methodist News Archives
| Hoosier United Methodist News |
September 2001 |
My witness:
Advice from a preacher's wife
By Jennifer Hansen
I've heard it said many times before "my husband's not the man I married." Most of the time that statement has a negative connotation, but not so for me.
When Andy and I got married thirteen years ago, we started out with the normal expectations of house, kids and the nine-to-five world. Somewhere along the way God had other plans. About eight years ago, my husband and I were called into the ministry.
At the time, I could not foresee all of the wonderful ways that God was going to equip Andy for ministry. When we first met, he was mostly an introvert and had very little use for public speaking. Now, I marvel at the way he gives such timely and persuasive sermons on Sunday mornings. I am in awe of the way that he handles moments of personal crisis with grace and sincerity. Mostly, I am eternally grateful that God has blessed me with a man who is called to ministry but considers his family a unique and special ministry unto itself.
You see, we decided when we first started this journey into ministry that our marriage and family would have to have priority. Andy and I have an advantage in that we both were P.K.'s (preacher's kids) or T.O.'s (Theological Offspring for those of you who like a more intellectual approach). We had a pretty good idea of what family life can be like in the ministry.
Even so, nothing quite prepares you for a life in the ministry. It is most definitely 24-7, and if you see it as simply a job, the pressure will eventually get to you. The ministry has to be a lifestyle, not only for the pastor but also for her/his family.
The parable of the two homes built on different foundations in the New Testament, I believe, has two separate meanings. Of course you need to build your life on the solid rock of Jesus Christ in order to have a strong foundation, but strong family life is also a fundamental need in the foundation of anyone's ministry. I have often seen careers in ministry shattered because of personal crisis' in the home. For a pastor to be truly effective in his/her outreach, he or she must have support from home.
I realize that what I am saying is nothing new to you in the ministry so why the long-winded discussion? It is my hope that all of the lay people reading this will strongly urge the rest of their congregation to help their pastor in making his family a priority. The whole church will be better for it.
At the ordination ceremony at Annual Conference, Bishop White urged the laity to "shepherd the shepherd" or take care of the needs of the pastor.
Try and find ways to take care of the person who takes care of your congregation. This could be as simple as a card or a word of encouragement when she or he is going through a stressful time. If the pastor has young children, offer to keep the kids for an evening so the pastor and his/her spouse can go on a date (we especially like this one). If someone in the congregation has a cabin or retreat somewhere, try offering a getaway. These are just a few suggestions, but I'm sure with a little imagination and a little planning, you can help your pastor have the solid foundation she or he needs to minister effectively.
Jennifer Hansen is the communications coordinator for the New Albany District.
Last updated on 01/14/2004