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| Hoosier United Methodist News |
June 2001 |
Mini Homily:
A pastor's struggle
By Michael Reed
When I left seminary to go to my first appointment, I really did not have clarity about my role as a pastor. Although I did not know it at the time, I bought into the typical model for pastors that Carl George describes in his book Breaking Growth Barriers. Basically the pastor is responsible for all aspects of worship, teaching, ministry, counseling, visiting, public relations, and anything else that somebody in the church wanted the pastor to do.
That pretty well summed up what I did during my early years in ministry. If someone needed me, or even if I thought someone needed me, I was supposed to be there.
My struggles with the issue of availability led to problems for my family and for the churches I served. My wife often complained that I did not have time or energy for her and our children. All of my time and energy seemed to go to serving the church. When our daughters got old enough to talk, they would ask, "Dad, do you have a meeting tonight?" In time, they quit asking.
The churches I served also suffered. My seemingly constant availability played into codependency on the part of the churches. I did all ministry-related work, or at least most of it. I did not encourage others to share the church's ministry, much of which could have been done far better than if I had.
Two things helped me get a better perspective, and in the process, enhance ministry for all concerned.
One day, I came upon a saying that affected me profoundly. I do not remember where I found it, but I soon had posted it right where I would see it every time I left my office. It read:
Always remember two things:
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There is a God.
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You are not God.
As I read and kept reflecting on that saying, I realized that God, and not I, is in charge of the universe. For God really is always available, fully available, to those in need, in ways that I, a mere mortal, could never be.
Gradually, I let go of my illusion that I had to be available all the time to whoever might seek my time and energy. I began to encourage people to pray more to seek God's presence and power in their lives, rather than depend on me.
In the fall of 1991, I attended a spiritual workshop. There a talk entitled "The Priesthood of Believers," given by a lay person, had a dramatic effect on me. Once again, I heard the message that all Christians have spiritual gifts that they can exercise to serve the kingdom as well as the church. I began to read more about spiritual gifts, preach and teach about them, and encourage people to discover what gifts the Spirit had given them that they could use to edify others.
In the process, I realized that in this way far more ministry could get done than when a church depended primarily on its pastor and staff people. Far more people would be available to serve God and far more people could be reached with the good news of the gospel and the healing power of Jesus Christ.
Now, I am attempting to care for myself spiritually, emotionally and physically so that I might be more available to those whom God sends my way. Every day I take an hour to pray, read the Bible, and reflect; and I give more attention to spiritual disciplines. I spend more time with family and friends. I also swim or walk every day to keep myself in shape physically. I do so because I realize that only as I am available to God can I really be available to others.
Last updated on 01/14/2004The Rev. R. Michael Reed is Senior Pastor of Fishers UMC.
Reprinted from "Alive Now," copyright May/June 2001 by The Upper Room, used by permission of the publisher.